


Not a Bad Way to Go

by Antosha



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Het Relationship, F/F, F/M, Female Rolf Scamander, Femslash, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hermione Granger Is Rolf Scamander, Love, Mention of The Muppet Show, Multi, Muppets (Muppets), Past Character Death, Past Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Poly Quad, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Post-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Post-War, Quasi-Slash, References to The Muppet Show, Second Chances, poly romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24508801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antosha/pseuds/Antosha
Summary: In which the true identity of Rolf Scamander is revealed....
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger/Luna Lovegood/Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood/Rolf Scamander
Kudos: 10





	Not a Bad Way to Go

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Het, femmeslash, polyamory, quasi!slash. Harry/Ginny/Luna/Hermione in various permutations; past Ron/Hermione. Implied character death. Mention of The Muppet Show. Takes place a few years post-Epilogue.

“I do love you, Rolf,” sighed Luna, pushing up on her elbows and kissing Hermione in a manner that she still found wonderfully shocking and shockingly wonderful.  
  
“As do we,” added Ginny, kissing Hermione’s breast—and Luna’s too, no doubt, against which Hermione’s pressed.  
  
Harry, still panting, simply pressed Hermione down against her wife and kissed the back of Hermione’s neck, slick with sweat even though she had not be the one exerting herself—it had been Luna with whom Harry had been coupling. Luna, with whom Hermione herself had found passion—so much passion—and new life.  
  
Surrounded by love on three sides—and the memory of love on a fourth—Hermione found that she couldn’t speak, that tears closed off the language to which she usually clung so ferociously.  
  
Really, why was she the one weeping? Luna was the one who had just given up her virginity—at forty, for heaven’s sake. And Ginny was the one who had shown the trust and love to allow Hermione and Luna to avail themselves of Harry’s excellent genetic material, as Luna had put it. Harry himself had never touched a woman other than Ginny, as far as Hermione knew—and she was fairly certain that she would have known, had it been otherwise—but if there was anything in the world dearer to him than his wife it was his children—his family—and yet here he had just willingly given some of that family up to Luna and Hermione.  
  
Yet Hermione was the one crying.  
  
Luna and Harry—still joined—embraced Hermione tightly, while Ginny kissed away the tears dribbling from Hermione’s eyes before they could spoil Luna’s beautiful, glowing face.  
  
Not that anything could spoil that.  
  
“We love you,” they each murmured to her as she wept, which helped but did not help.  
  
When Ron had died—just weeks after they’d dropped Hugo off at the Hogwart’s Express; just days before their planned second honeymoon to Zanzibar—Harry and Ginny had been so good to her, even though they had felt his loss every bit as deeply. And Luna... Oh, Luna. Even after knowing her for nearly thirty years, everything about Luna was a surprise to Hermione. The eccentricity, yes, but also the compassion, the warmth...  
  
And the way that, after eight months of healing, Hermione had found that that warmth had kindled an answering heat in her own heart—something that Hermione would never in a million years have anticipated, and yet knew, as soon as she took that odd, beloved face her hands and kissed that wide, perpetually surprised mouth, that she had always been meant to feel—had always felt, if only she had known to recognize it.  
“Love you too,” sniffled Hermione. “All of you.”  
  
Like her late brother, Ginny was a fidgeter; Ron had never been able to snuggle for terribly long, and neither, it would seem could his sister. She pulled away from the other three, only touching them with her legs, which were intertangled in theirs. “Oi, Hermione?”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“Why does Luna do that? Call you by your pen name?”  
  
“What?” Hermione blinked her eyes clear; all three of them turned toward Ginny. “Rolf?”  
  
Ginny nodded.  
  
Hermione looked down at her second spouse just as Harry unjoined himself from her, and Luna’s always blissful expression took a turn to the truly transcendent; Hermione could not help but kiss her.  
  
When at last they sat up again, and Harry and Ginny too had taken a breather, Hermione answered, “Originally, we were trying to keep Rose and Hugo from finding out about the marriage, so I registered under the Scamander name. Is that why, Luna-love?”  
  
“Hmm?” Luna was tracing the line left by a bead of sweat that ran down the outside of Hermione’s arm. “Oh, no. That hadn’t occurred to me. I didn’t know you wanted to keep it from the children. If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have sent them a wedding announcement.”  
  
“You...?” Hermione gasped. “You sent a wedding announcement to my children?”  
  
“Yes,” Luna said, smiling as always. “They sent us the most lovely card. Hugo said he was terribly happy for us, and Rose said how wonderful it was that you weren’t alone.”  
  
“They... They said that?”  
  
Ginny laughed. “Hermione, they’ve known and loved Luna all of their lives. They saw how good she was to you last year. And, to be honest, they came to me after the Easter hols and said they’d seen the two of you—and I quote—‘snogging like a couple of randy sixth years’ after you thought they’d got to bed, and they wanted to know if you were actually ‘seeing each other.’”  
  
“When we said yes,” chuckled Harry, “they were right pleased. Of course, we didn’t tell them you were doing a hell of a lot more than ‘seeing each other’!”  
  
“I should hope not!” Hermione said, feeling as if her face were on fire—as if she were in fact sixteen again, with all of the horrors attendant thereon. Then she groaned, “Oh, please tell me that none of you has told them about _this_ arrangement!”  
  
“Of course not,” Luna answered, calm as ever. “Do you want to tell them yourselves.”  
  
“Merlin, no!” Hermione buried herself in Luna’s neck. “It’s going to be hard enough telling them they’ve got a a half-brother or sisters on the way.”  
  
“Or one of each. Or two of one,” mused Luna, and kissed the top of Hermione’s head.  
  
“Well, that’s good,” said Harry. “Because anything that Hugo knows, Lily knows, and she may be your goddaughter, Luna, but I really don’t want to have to explain _this_ to my children.”  
  
Hermione laughed, and so did Ginny, but Luna was suddenly pensive. “Are you ashamed of having done this?”  
  
“No!” Harry said. “Not at all!”  
  
Ginny reached out and stroked Luna’s cheek. “I think what Harry was trying to say is that our kids and Hermione’s think of us as a married couple, and you two as a married couple—and the idea of all four of us doing married-couple things in one bed at the same time would probably fry their poor, adolescent brains.”  
  
“Oh,” said Luna, nodding sagely. “Yes, some of the books that I’ve been reading say that children like to play the role of the rebel, but they want their parents to conform to whatever passes as normalcy.”  
  
“You’ve been reading parenting books?” Ginny tittered. “Already?”  
  
“Well, one can never do too much research,” Hermione and Luna said together.  
  
“Knew they were meant for each,” said Harry, kissing his wife.  
  
Luna apparently took that as a cue, and gave Hermione a kiss that almost made her want to ask Ginny and Harry to go away. Before she could give in to the impulse, however, Luna backed up, reddened lips the only sign that she’d just been doing her impression of a randy teen again. “But that’s not why I call you Rolf, Rolf.”  
  
“It...?” Hermione shivered. “It isn’t?”  
  
“No.” Luna pulled herself up behind Hermione, cupping her breasts in a manner that Hermione dearly loved. “In the first place, I have always been a fan of the Muggle television series, _The Muppet Show_ , and my favorite character was the one named Rolf the Dog. Your hair reminds me of him. Also, when you started publishing your articles under your pseudonym, I found them terribly sexually exciting.”  
  
“You... did?” Hermione didn’t know why this surprised her; how could _anything_ about Luna surprise her? And yet it always did. “They were about sentience in what we were then classifying as lesser magical beings! How could you find that—?”  
  
“Well, I did.” Luna squeezed Hermione, then whispered into her ear, “Besides, the section on the mating patterns of Gernumblies was incredibly hot.”  
  
That made Hermione laugh, and she kissed her wife, and soon they were making love there on Harry and Ginny’s enormous bed, and Harry and Ginny seemed to be making love as well.  
  
_Making love._ So much love.  
  
And yet...  
  
It was funny: from the first, Luna had satisfied Hermione completely when it came to sex. In some ways, she was a much more compatible lover even than Ron, since there was never any need to beg off due to monthly cycles—theirs were in sync from fairly early on.  
  
Yet listening to the sounds that Ginny and Harry were making reminded Hermione of the relatively few things that Ron had been capable of that Luna simply wasn’t. As Luna pleasured Hermione—pleasured her wonderfully—Hermione found herself glancing over at her friends: Harry _mounting_ Ginny, _filling_ her... Harry’s face was blank with lust, and Ginny too looked transported—flushed, mouth open—but her eyes, mischief-bright, were locked on Hermione’s. Ginny pulled her husband to her with her legs, stilling him. “Harry?”  
  
“Unh?”  
  
“Luna?”  
  
“Yes?” Luna managed to say without ceasing her remarkable ministrations.  
  
“I... Harry knows this, but I’ve, um, always had kind of a fantasy... a couple, actually. And so has he...”  
  
“How nice,” answered Luna, without missing a stroke.  
  
“Yeah,” grunted Ginny, her voice husky. “So, mine is about him doing it with another guy. And his is me with another girl.”  
  
“Very... common,” gasped Hermione, who was praying that Luna wouldn’t stop, but also praying that she wasn’t wrong in imagining where Ginny was headed with this.  
  
“Yeah, well,” said Ginny, “I kind of think the answer I’ve got here isn’t so common, and it’s one I think you two might be interested in.”  
  
“Oh?” That got Luna’s attention; her head popped up and Hermione nearly wept with the loss.  
  
Fortunately, Ginny didn’t keep them in suspense for terribly long. “Yeah. I was thinking... Rolf might like getting it from a boy for a change.” Hermione felt the part of her that Luna had just abandoned fill with heat. Harry’s gaze locked suddenly with hers. “And I thought maybe _Mrs_. Scamander might be willing to teach me about the whole shagging-another-girl thing.”  
  
Hermione knew that Luna had spent most of her adult life in love with Ginny. Ginny knew that too—though she hadn’t found out until well after she and Harry had been married. It had been one of the very few things to strain their friendship over the years—Ginny’s feeling of guilty discomfort at making her friend unhappy.  
  
Could Hermione trust—?  
  
“I love you, Rolf,” said Luna again, but with a febrile intensity, kissing the inside of Hermione’s thigh. “I always will.”  
  
Once more unable to speak, Hermione nodded.  
  
As they crawled toward each other—as Hermione made love to a man for the first time in over three years (a man... her best friend...) and as she heard her wife and Harry’s embracing in a way that each of them had experienced before only at closest range, Hermione thought, _So much love might kill me._  
  
On the other hand, she decided, it would not be a bad way to die. Not a bad way at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, ap_aelfwine! This was for you...
> 
> So I hope you enjoyed this typically Antosha-y stew of silly/sad/sexy/sweet. The connection to Rolf the Dog caught me by surprise — I hope it did you — but I hope too that you enjoyed.
> 
> FYI: Along with a group of fanfic writers (including deadwoodpecker, Smeyers, TheWordsinMyHead, and LegendDairy) I am, as K.D. West, releasing an anthology of fantasy novellas, [Into the Mystic](http://stilpt.us/product/into-the-mystic/?utm_campaign=AO3&utm_source=NOT-A-BAD-WAY). It's currently in pre-order, but hits the shelves in ebook and paperback on Friday, June 5. . 
> 
> [   
>  Check it out!](http://stilpt.us/product/into-the-mystic/?utm_campaign=AO3&utm_source=NOT-A-BAD-WAY)


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